Chris Knipp
08-27-2025, 10:13 PM
http://www.chrisknipp.com/images/%20bote.jpg
JAVIER BOTET AND BRAYS EFE IN THE FANTASTIC GOLEM AFFAIRS
JUAN GONZÁLEZ, NANDO MARTÍNEZ: THE FANTASTIC GOLEM AFFAIRS (2023)
Quirky Spanish comedy begins with a man who shatters into many pieces when he falls
THe Spanish film THe Fantastic Golem Affairs combines surrealism with absurdist humor, or would-be humor. It's about mostly young men and women and has plenty of sex. With some rearrangement and editing of its plot and more colorful (or more attractive) mise-en-scène and better looking people, it might be a bawdy comedy à la early Pedro Almodóvar. Someone (the New York Movie Guru) has suggested this wants to be a Terry Gilliam or Charlie Kaufman or Buñuel film. Maybe, but the most plausible comparison may have been Quentin Dupieux - early Dupieux, not the glossy recent one with glamorous French stars like Vincent Lindon, Léa Seydoux, and Louis Garrel in its cast. Actually the directors are reported to have cited Paul Thomas Anderson as a role model, but come on, guys, you're not there. Maybe next time. There is plenty of comedy here of the busy, talky kind, but not the kind you laugh at much, not for Anglo viewers, anyway.
Fantastic Golem Affairs is quirkier than it needs to be to approach its basic topic, which is the need for human affection. The premise is that the best friend, David (David Menéndez), of protagonist Juan (Brays Efe) falls off a balcony and dies, shattering into many pieces on a car, thus revealing that he was, all along, made of porcelain. Juan did not know this. It turns out David was what is called here a "golem," a robot, designed, unbeknownst to Juan, to keep him company. Juan is a chubby young man who is well off - or at least has quite a nice apartment. Why he needed an artificial companion is unclear. The golem, though, has made him happy for years, and now he is sad and none of what subsequently happens, obsequies, sexual hookups, even financial arrangements to his advantage, make up for that.
It turns out there is a company that has been providing these brittle companions to others and this company now wants to reward Juan. There is also much about the way death can be turned into a bureaucratic hurdle for those surrounding the deceased, with complications over inheritance, insurance, and shared indebtedness. The film isn't all talk; it's also in love with having heavy things fall on people's heads and crush them. It is also gay-friendly, and includes a very tall, skinny man called Carlos with odd-looking shiny black bobbed hair that he is rather proud of. He is memorable and he is played, it turns out, by horror movie regular Javier Botet, who branches out nicely here.
There are a series of meandering scenes about the scheme to make more people happy using these artificial humans and about Juan inheriting this company that ultimately becomes rather hard to follow. The women, the sex, the tampons, the condoms that break: what the point of it all is is hard to judge. Ultimately of this film may be said as Samuel Johnson did of life, "much is to be endured, and little to be enjoyed." But there might be less to be endured and more to be enjoyed if you are Spanish-speaking because there is a constant stream of rapid-fire Spanish dialogue whose possible nuances this reviewer could not begin to appreciate. They lost me at "vale." Subtleties of tone may count for more than the literal content here.
The Fantastic Golem Affairs, 95 mins., premiered Mar. 15, 2023 at the Malaga festival, and has shown in various Spanish-speaking countries. The two filmmakers are known collectively as Burning Percebes. It had a limited opening in the US Aug. 25, 2025 at Quad Cinema, New York. Quad program for the film is HERE (https://quadcinema.com/film/the-fantastic-golem-affairs/).
JAVIER BOTET AND BRAYS EFE IN THE FANTASTIC GOLEM AFFAIRS
JUAN GONZÁLEZ, NANDO MARTÍNEZ: THE FANTASTIC GOLEM AFFAIRS (2023)
Quirky Spanish comedy begins with a man who shatters into many pieces when he falls
THe Spanish film THe Fantastic Golem Affairs combines surrealism with absurdist humor, or would-be humor. It's about mostly young men and women and has plenty of sex. With some rearrangement and editing of its plot and more colorful (or more attractive) mise-en-scène and better looking people, it might be a bawdy comedy à la early Pedro Almodóvar. Someone (the New York Movie Guru) has suggested this wants to be a Terry Gilliam or Charlie Kaufman or Buñuel film. Maybe, but the most plausible comparison may have been Quentin Dupieux - early Dupieux, not the glossy recent one with glamorous French stars like Vincent Lindon, Léa Seydoux, and Louis Garrel in its cast. Actually the directors are reported to have cited Paul Thomas Anderson as a role model, but come on, guys, you're not there. Maybe next time. There is plenty of comedy here of the busy, talky kind, but not the kind you laugh at much, not for Anglo viewers, anyway.
Fantastic Golem Affairs is quirkier than it needs to be to approach its basic topic, which is the need for human affection. The premise is that the best friend, David (David Menéndez), of protagonist Juan (Brays Efe) falls off a balcony and dies, shattering into many pieces on a car, thus revealing that he was, all along, made of porcelain. Juan did not know this. It turns out David was what is called here a "golem," a robot, designed, unbeknownst to Juan, to keep him company. Juan is a chubby young man who is well off - or at least has quite a nice apartment. Why he needed an artificial companion is unclear. The golem, though, has made him happy for years, and now he is sad and none of what subsequently happens, obsequies, sexual hookups, even financial arrangements to his advantage, make up for that.
It turns out there is a company that has been providing these brittle companions to others and this company now wants to reward Juan. There is also much about the way death can be turned into a bureaucratic hurdle for those surrounding the deceased, with complications over inheritance, insurance, and shared indebtedness. The film isn't all talk; it's also in love with having heavy things fall on people's heads and crush them. It is also gay-friendly, and includes a very tall, skinny man called Carlos with odd-looking shiny black bobbed hair that he is rather proud of. He is memorable and he is played, it turns out, by horror movie regular Javier Botet, who branches out nicely here.
There are a series of meandering scenes about the scheme to make more people happy using these artificial humans and about Juan inheriting this company that ultimately becomes rather hard to follow. The women, the sex, the tampons, the condoms that break: what the point of it all is is hard to judge. Ultimately of this film may be said as Samuel Johnson did of life, "much is to be endured, and little to be enjoyed." But there might be less to be endured and more to be enjoyed if you are Spanish-speaking because there is a constant stream of rapid-fire Spanish dialogue whose possible nuances this reviewer could not begin to appreciate. They lost me at "vale." Subtleties of tone may count for more than the literal content here.
The Fantastic Golem Affairs, 95 mins., premiered Mar. 15, 2023 at the Malaga festival, and has shown in various Spanish-speaking countries. The two filmmakers are known collectively as Burning Percebes. It had a limited opening in the US Aug. 25, 2025 at Quad Cinema, New York. Quad program for the film is HERE (https://quadcinema.com/film/the-fantastic-golem-affairs/).