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Thread: The Cooler

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2003

    The Cooler

    Apologies to everyone here for calling Sideways a terrible movie. Sometimes, a young, opinionated sportswriter like me needs a taste of rotten rat meat to make him appreciate a good cut of chicken.
    “The Cooler” was truly a waste of my time, and the writing was on the wall as soon as Alec Baldwin showed up. It should be industry standard to put him on the cover of the movie – a warning label of sorts.
    The Cooler is the story of William H. Macy as ‘Bernie’ who’s seemingly terminal bad luck has landed him a job as a casino ‘cooler’ who is paid to spread his curse around and keep punters from wining money. The dialogue plays like a plastic marimba: hollow and artificial. The plot come around eventually, but an hour and a half of Alec Baldwin’s raspy voiced 2dimentional old school casino boss was just too much. Ace from Casino wouldn’t wipe his ass with this guy’s suit.
    The movie played more like a daytime soap opera than a feature film, complete with unintentionally comical highs and lows and one auspicious coincidence after another. I could have been spared the William H. Macy sex scene.

    “No, honey, I don’t want to watch the special features.” Of course, she puts them on anyhow and I could have ‘technically’ got up and left the same way that she could ‘technically’ have laid some kind of cold shouldered silent guilt trip on me for as long as it takes for her to forget what it was about in the first place.

    The cute little TV doc that they throw in with the deal got the biggest laugh of the night from yours truly when director Wayne Kramer explained that the film was shot in only 21 days and: “… as a director, you wonder if you’re going to be able to pull it off.”
    HA! I think we’ve found the answer, Wayne old buddy: just do a half assed job!

    Live from The Sportsdesk
    Last edited by Raoul; 02-09-2005 at 12:07 PM.


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